dealing with disappointment


For dancers, injuries are a part of life. Every dancer knows this. But knowing intellectually in your head is an entirely different thing than knowing in your heart. Especially when it happens right before a performance.

Our youngest is smack dab in the middle of dealing with this disappointment right now. A partnering injury recently has left her in pain and sore and not able to dance.   So the show this weekend is just not going to happen for her. When you have worked so hard and are so pumped for something, it is like someone letting the air out of your balloon. No fun.

Don’t get me wrong, we are counting our blessings that nothing more serious happened. And she will recover and be fine (thank goodness). But we are all a little sad about it. In the big picture this is really only a blip, we know. But honestly it is still a drag.

I heard this quote by Eckhart Tolle and it seems so fitting right now for so many reasons.

Most people treat the present moment as if it were an obstacle that they need to overcome. Since the present moment is Life itself, it is an insane way to live.

So injuries (and disappointments) are part of life itself. And in the big scheme of things, this one is pretty minor.

Thank heavens for that.

celebrating a life

Hett in seal skin,'59

When I think of my mother-in-law as a younger woman, before she became too sick to enjoy life properly, I think of a force to be reckoned with.  A strong woman who knew her mind and loved her family and didn’t wait for things to happen for her.  She was so proud of her children and in those healthy days, travelled around to visit them, going so far as London, England.

As a mother-in-law, Hettie was initially a little intimidating for a young bride like me, entering into marriage with her only son.  My first time meeting her was when she and Eric came back from a winter in Florida to find me, having spend most of the winter with Chris,firmly situated into his life as a girlfriend.  I was so nervous meeting Chris’ parents that day.  And when we all walked in the front door at Lloyd Crescent, the first thing she did was scan the house to check out if it was clean, keenly running her eyes around the rooms and then taking a finger to run it along the top of a picture frame to see if there was dust, thereby checking to see if Chris had taken proper care of the house in their absence.

 She and I had our moments of typical in-law struggle in those early years for sure, but it didn’t take me long to figure out that she was a strong woman who fiercely loved her family and had only kindness in her heart.

 It wasn’t too long into our marriage that Hettie started to get really sick and from then on it has been a long road for her and her family of hospitals and sickness and pain.

 Instead of focusing on all that, I like to think of Hettie coming into St. John’s for her nursing training from a small town.  I would love to have a glance of her in action back in those days.  Hettie was so proud to be a nurse and loved her nursing friends.


 I like to think of her and Eric as a young couple moving around from Labrador, to Corner Brook to St John’s with Eric’s job as a radio operator.  Hettie acted as a midwife in Labrador and delivered her share of babies, getting around on a snowmobile.  Not for the faint of heart!


 I remember meeting one of the Montreal cousins many years ago, and she recounted to me how she would come to Newfoundland during the summers and she appreciated how loving Hettie and Eric were to each other.  She recalled how sweet they were together cuddled up in bed together in the early mornings.  I love to think of that.


 I like to think of her as a vibrant member of the Hants Harbour seniors community, dressing up in costume and putting on pageants, walking around the harbour with the other Hants Harbour ladies and heading into the seniors center for a sale or organizing the Willow Tree Heritage Museum.

Hett & Chris

Hettie thank you for raising a wonderful son who is an incredible Dad and wonderful partner. You are finally at peace, hopefully having a cup of tea with those who have gone before you.

Much love and respect.

yeah spring!


Honey asked me what I wanted to do for Mother’s Day and the first thing that I thought of was the North Head Trail around Signal Hill.  I haven’t done that hike since the fall – it would be a treacherous place to be with all the snow and ice we had this winter.


I was prepared with many layers and a hat and mitts, but it was surprisingly warm!  I had my jacket around my waist the entire hike. I know my Ottawa friends are lounging on their decks wearing shorts with drinks in hand – however it has still been pretty cold here.


I am always in awe when I do this hike! I just can’t stop taking photos and breathing in the salt air.  Although there are a few places on the hike where I need to put away my phone and concentrate so I don’t go careening down the cliff!


The rich shades of brown are so intense – it is stunning during each season in totally different ways!  You can check out a summer hike I did here and a fall hike I did here to compare.


Even the neutral colours of the rocks stop me in my tracks to spend a few moments admiring them.


The Rockstar came with us – I think he loves this trail too!


We could even see a couple of icebergs but my iphone camera does not do them justice.


I love looking over at Fort Amherst.


I was huffing and puffing by the time I got up all the stairs at the top of Signal Hill!  I have some work to do obviously!  I can’t wait to head back there again! Yeah spring!


out of the mouths of babes

As you know, one of my favourite parts of being home in Newfoundland is spending time with my nieces and nephews. I love watching them tap dance (like Sara did here) and when they entertain me with their shows and everything else in between.

Mostly, I love watching them interact with my kids, who are the beloved “older kids”, meaning they are HEROS to the little kids. The downside of this hero-worship, is that whenever I show up with my children in tow, I basically get ignored. Last weekend I popped by my sister’s house with my daughter. As we entered the front hall, two little girls came tearing down the hallway towards me. So I dropped to my knees, whipped my arms open wide and braced myself for the running hugs I was sure were coming towards me and WHOOOSH! They both ran right past me, making a beeline to their idol.

Well, I won’t pretend I wasn’t a little disappointed, although I did manage to get little side-glances of glee as they both knowingly rushed past me. I promised to steal my hugs from them later and managed to get myself up off the floor and dusted off my knees (and my dignity).

Speaking of dignity…. I have managed to cancel two (desperately needed) hair appointments recently because of kid activities/events. This may seem unrelated to the story but as my son would say – “Wait for it!” I got home from work early today and my daughter was babysitting my niece and nephew at our place. I guess the novelty of spending time with my daughter had worn off enough, that my six year old niece crawled onto my lap and then helped me brush the dog. Now this is the same niece who recently made herself a popcorn sandwich with a dinner roll and Smartfood popcorn (ewww!) and is full of twinkling eyes of mischief and love for everyone around her. So I was really appreciating getting to enjoy some time with her as we chatted and cuddled and brushed Rocky. So nice and peaceful!

Until she gazed up at me and started staring at me with her intense squinty eyes, analyzing something to herself. And then she looked at me directly and simply said, “Aunt Marlayne, you have some gray hair. “

Maybe it’s better when they run right past.


a brief interlude

We took advantage of the long weekend to beat it out of town. The Easter break means that there are no dance classes, music lessons or rehearsals of any kind to drive to kids to (is the proper grammar – to which to drive the children??? Sounds weird either way Lol).

Although it has snowed twice since we have been here (in April!!) the sun is shining! A walk along the beach listening to the clack of the rocks and the roar of the waves is just so relaxing. As a child I spent hours on that beach just watching and listening and hanging out.

I wanted to share a quick moment with you. Happy Easter!

opening night

Since we have moved home, my 15 year old son has made St. John’s home, as they say here, “in jig time”. I always knew he was a Newfoundlander at heart, but watching him soak up all the wonderful musical influences here has been incredible to watch. Check out this post I did about him on his birthday last fall.

Many of these opportunities he would not have if we still lived in Ottawa. He is learning to play the Double Bass with hopes of making it into the Newfoundland Symphony Youth Orchestra next year. He has been volunteering with the Newfoundland Symphony Orchestra and has had the opportunity to see several symphony concerts this year (and LOVED them). He has joined every possible musical group/event at school and spends every single afternoon at school – loving every minute.


Sigh. I’m one happy mama about all this. Mostly because I am seeing his confidence grow.

Back in December he auditioned for a musical and I cautioned him about his expectations at the time. I know that a lot of the kids auditioning have a lot of musical theatre experience and I didn’t want him to be disappointed if he didn’t make it. We were together having brunch when he got the phone call asking him to be Evan – the Lead Role in the musical. Talk about thrilled!!

Seeing his dedication to this group and the incredible friendships he has formed so quickly with the cast, is so amazing. He regularly comes home from rehearsal and gets on the computer to Oovoo with them all again (Oovoo is a video chat if you didn’t know – I didn’t know until recently). Obviously spending 3 hours together on a Sat afternoon is not enough. I asked him the other day if there were a few people that he felt he really connected with and he said, “Mom, they are all really cool.” He is so fortunate to be part of the group. And even if that sounds cliché, I could not mean it more.

Tonight is opening night. I’m bringing a few tissues in my pockets just in case I get a little teary. That’s understandable for a Mom who wants the best for her son, I think. Best wishes to a wonderful cast and huge thanks to Best Kind Productions for choosing him to be part of this
Tickets are still available. You can call the LSPU Hall at 753-4531 or online at


dreams, challenges and flip flops


Here are a few random February thoughts for you, in no particular order. Warning: I don’t love February. Every year I think I am not going to let February get to me, and yet it does manage to get under my skin somehow.  This is totally stream of conscience   –  my random state of mind these days.

1. I am sick to death of driving in snow storms.  SICK I tell you! My knuckles are permanently white.  Between slippery Prescott Street and the Outer-Ring-Road-of-Death, I am absolutely done with driving in bad weather.  Done.

2. We talked about taking a vacation this spring but somehow nothing has been booked as of yet.  I am having fantasies of running away from Canada with only my flip flops and my iphone.  One can dream.

3. Parenting is HARD.  Supporting children to strive for their dreams AND at the same time making decisions that you think is right is really difficult.

4. Parenting is WONDERFUL. Among the challenges are such joyful, proud moments.

5. I love the Olympic fever that hits during the games.  Everyone gets patriotic, even those who don’t normally follow sports (like me!).  I love how an entire country backs our athletes. It is a wonderful energy!

6. Heating a house with oil is EXPENSIVE! Ouch!  I see that Harvey’s truck coming again and I want to scream! Come on spring!! I have switched to cold water Tide and have turned down the thermostats… any other tips for me?

7. My contract is coming up at work soon and honestly I don’t love the uncertainty.  I am trying to have faith in the universe while plugging away at the job search, but it is not easy.  I could use a few good vibes sent my way if you have any to spare.

8. My honey recently watched Blackfish and told me about it. I have decided that I absolutely cannot go to Sea World ever again.  I don’t even think I can watch the documentary, it made me so sad to hear about it!  It has even changed how I look at my dog.  I wonder is he happy?   Does that make me crazy???  Maybe February is really getting to me and I’m losing it, but either way, the dog is getting even more love from me these days lol.

9. Good coffee with friends is wonderful for the soul. Good coffee is awesome on its own, but add in some lovely friends and it is even better!