small peaceful gestures

When I graduated from High School, I really wanted to explore my (then) dream of being a dancer. So I flew to Toronto during the summer and auditioned for the School of the Toronto Dance Theatre with two friends. We were accepted into the Professional Training Program and moved to the Big Smoke in September. There was so much I loved about TDT, and I will forever be grateful that my parents supported me in choosing to try it. But I realized during that fall semester that I really wanted to head back home and go to university. I think I always knew I would end up going back to school, but these sidelines in life are sometimes just as important as where we end up, and TDT was a sideline that I will always cherish.

When I moved back to St John’s, I think my parents were relieved. Not only to have me home, but that I wasn’t going to have the unreliable life of a dancer. I knew they hoped I would choose to come home to MUN but they never once pressured me to stay. But once I was home, they hopped into action to help me do what was needed to start MUN in Jan, and that included my Dad lining up at the Thompson Student Center to register me for my first year courses. (that was before telephone registration – remember that??).

Adjusting back to life at home had its ups and downs at first. Looking back on the experience, mentally adjusting to the idea that I wasn’t a dancer anymore was harder than I realized at the time. For 16 years I had identified myself first and foremost as a dancer and suddenly I was cold turkey – no dancing at all. And of course University was challenging (as it should be). Probably I was putting extra pressure on myself to make university really work, since the path I first picked turned out not to be for me. If I wasn’t going to be a dancer and I couldn’t succeed at university – then what??

So when my first round of midterms came along I was STRESSED. Totally wound tight and not coping. And the day of my first midterm my Dad came and sat next to me and laid his hand gently on my arm and quietly and calmly assured me that all would be well. And just like that I started to feel better. More ready to face my week knowing he had confidence in me that I could do it. This small, peaceful gesture alleviated some of my worries and made me love him even more for recognizing what I needed in that moment.

It’s one of my most comforting memories of my Dad.

I’m lucky to have this wonderful father and fabulous Grandfather to his seven grandchildren.

Love you Dad.
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hurling through space

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Are you the type of person who likes roller coasters?  When I was in my 20’s my DH, Sister #3 and friends went to Canada’s Wonderland and I did EVERY single roller coaster in the park.  I think that was pretty much the last time I rode a roller coaster.  I don’t love that feeling of being hurled through space and, what can I say, I am a wimp {shrugs shoulders}. I figure that I have done the roller coaster thing so now I am done.

Except I’m not done with the proverbial roller coaster of selling this &#!%# house. I actually LOVE my house and I know someone will come along and love it as much as I do.  But I really wish they would hurry it up already.  (I know, I’m impatient!!).  But it feels like we are in limbo until the house sells and I am tired (as in “sick-and”) of constantly cleaning this place and dragging the dog out so he doesn’t scare potential new owners. (I’m sure Rocky is also sick of this process.)

I know I’m whining, but you know this process sucks.

If you are in the market for a lovely new home, I have the place for you! And maybe I’ll throw in the dog as a bonus, if this process goes on much longer. Hehe – JUST KIDDING!  I love my nuisance of a dog.

ps – I know my post title is a *tad* on the dramatic side.  Just wanted you to know I am aware.

I can’t see them but I know they’re there!

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This is the path I take when I walk home from the bus stop at the end of the day.  As soon as I step on this path I can smell the lilacs.  I have no idea where the scent is coming from. I can’t see any lilacs from the path, but you can really tell they are close by.   Such a pleasant aroma! Makes you want to take a deep breath and soak it all in.

pure cuteness

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The 4 year old across the street came to call on my 13 year old DD today to see if she could go out and play. She has babysat him a couple of times and this kid is pure cuteness. Adorable that she took him to the park. He asked her if she wanted to feel his muscles. Made me smile.

unfailingly cheerful

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Every morning when I get off the bus downtown, there is a lady in an orange vest handing out free papers (the 24 Hour paper). She is unfailingly cheerful every morning!

When she says “Good Morning” she sounds genuinely happy and the positive tone of her voice makes me smile, even when I am still half asleep.

Such a nice way to start the day. I think she deserves a RAK – a random act of kindness. I am going to drop off a card to her this week with a small treat inside.

Who can you surprise this week with a RAK?

last year this time…

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Last year this time my DH and I were in Paris.  My childhood friend was getting married and it was a great reason to take a vacation. We just walked and walked and ate and walked and drank coffee and walked and ate pastries and walked….. and well, you get the idea.

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We spent five days, including the wedding. It was so heavenly not to have a schedule and see so much at every turn.  I really needed a full week just to sit on the terraces and drink coffee watching the city go by.

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The wedding was gorgeous, the bride was stunning and the champagne divine.

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And the five days with my DH was delectable.

When can we go back?

toi, toi, toi!

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This has been recital week around here, which means every night for the past week DD has had stage rehearsals, dress rehearsals and several shows at the local high school where the studio rents the auditorium. I love the recital in such a different way than I enjoy dance competitions.  The kids are so smiley and relaxed and they truly look as though they are loving the chance to shine on stage.  I also love to watch the recreational kids (those that don’t compete). You can see on their faces that it is such a novelty to be up on stage and they are just beaming with excitement.

This photo below is of the “Actor’s Quick Change Room” which was my post for the Senior show this year. The high school uses this little room to build props, but we manage to squeeze in and set up costumes for the girls to race offstage, quickly change and head back out again.  I LOVE this job, helping with the costume changes.  The girls I was assisting are all in high school or university and wow – they are just so lovely.  So full of life, so wonderful to each other (the comradery back stage is fabulous) and so thankful for the help given to them. It was an absolute pleasure to be around them. Plus I get to see all the behind the scenes entertainment.

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Watching the recitals always makes me teary. I’m the same for school concerts. I just barely sit down in my seat and I start feeling weepy.  Mostly it is a good weepy.  I’m a little sad this is our last recital with our studio here. But next year I will be able to attend my niece’s recitals and my nephew’s hockey games and THAT is why we are making this change.

In the meantime we are soaking up our last recital here and loving every minute.

Toi, toi, toi!

snowball cookies

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My Aunt Grace made the best snowball cookies. I remember at Christmas time we would be visiting family and we would usually end up at Aunt Grace’s house where the highlight was eating her amazing snowball cookies. They were so moist and chocolatety and DELICIOUS and she never minded when we went back for more. Sister#2 was also a huge fan of them and Aunt Grace would sometimes send her home with some – which of course Mom made her share with us 🙂

My Aunt Grace was a strong woman who didn’t have things easy for her but had a lot of love to give those around her. I always liked that she spoke to us as kids the same as she did to adults. I never felt talked down to by Aunt Grace.

My Aunt Grace died this morning after being sick for months. Surrounded by her children and loved ones. She is no longer in pain.

Maybe I will go make some snowballs in her honour.

 

beautiful morning

Good morning! I’m at the bus stop and boy is it a beautiful day. The sun is shinning – there is a crispness in the air that you know won’t last all day.

I’ve been blogging this week while I’m on the bus, btw. Technology can be wonderful.

Hope your day is lovely!

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leaning into the wind

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So have you seen my zen? I did have it at some point this winter, but admittedly, it has been elusive as of late. I am a huge yoga fan and I try to keep in mind just “being in the moment” as much as possible, but if there was a score card for the yoga mindset (which there wouldn’t be, since that is not the yoga way) but if there *was*, I would totally flunk. My head is having trouble being still.

Somedays I would just like to see into the future, just a little bit. In my heart of hearts, I KNOW everything will be fine, but just that little reassurance that yes my house will sell, and yes I will get it all packed and no we’re not crazy for making this huge move right now. Really? Is that too much to ask?

I guess it is.
I have to have faith it will be fine and keep moving forward.

The picture is of my son in Trinity Bay at my parent’s cabin in a place called Spreadeagle. It was a super blustery day and he was literally leaning into the wind. I feel a bit like that right now.

I think I better go dig up that mindfulness CD I have somewhere and try some meditation.

And if you come across my zen in your travels let me know!